i had been a junior high school was born now, the memory of elementary school moment, some remain a vague outline only, some already were eroded neatly as memorial endless flow, only few number still is like the job that just produces yesterday it seems that, remain fresh in one's memory. among them a thing makes me impressive, it is a bundle of light with my study intermediate and important career, gave me hope, enlightened the road of the travel before me.
现在我已经是一名初中生了，小学时候的记忆，有些只剩下一个模糊的轮廓，有些已随着记忆的长河被冲刷得干干净净，只有极少数还似乎如昨日刚刚发生的事，记忆犹新。其中有一件事让我印象深刻，它是我学习生涯中级重要的一束光，给了我信心，照亮了我前行的道路。
that is a self-study class, clouded that day, heavy rain is torrential, raindrop falls on the sweet-scented osmanthus tree of classroom doorway, give out the noise of rustle. we sit in the classroom bored to death: some is passing scrip secretly; some sees a teacher with pleasure do not allow the caricature book of the belt below desk; some is in affirm chinese teacher is in after immersing oneself in batch of examination paper to did not notice his, low head and adjacent desk are stolen steal murmurous …… abrupt, upload from dais come thunderous fulminant: “ classmates, be quiet! ”来自作文吧 zuowenba.net
那是一节自习课，当天阴云密布，大雨滂沱，雨点落在教室门口的桂花树上，发出沙沙的响声。我们坐在教室里百无聊赖：有的在偷偷传纸条；有的在课桌下面津津有味地看老师不允许带的漫画书；有的在确认语文老师在埋头批试卷没有注意自己后，低下头与邻桌窃窃私语……突然，从讲台上传来一声雷鸣般的轰响：“同学们，安静！”
we were stayed in by shake, if the head turns to look suddenly like a extremely frightened person to dais, see a lofty and big and tall figure only----chinese teacher goes up in dais like stand erect of the imposing like big hill. we 2 bonze feel each a unit of length to be not worn brains, the teacher took out back-to-back chinese to fold the examination paper that just had approved, unhurried ground sent: “ classmates, first oneself review the issue that appears in this piece of examination paper. i look at ” the examination paper to oneself, see a bright red “80” greet only, return the fork that if urge fate magic figures drawn by taoist priests to invoke or expel spirits and bring good or ill fortune,cooperating each, my mood is low arrived by cereal. a few black clouds got together again in the sky outside the window, rain if like bend basin clang with a clang fell down, the leaf on sweet-scented osmanthus tree was coiled by the fierce wind of cry out in distress again a lot of. at this moment, finish class the bell rang.
我们被震住了，如惊弓之鸟般猛地转头望向讲台，只见一个高大魁梧的身影----语文老师如大山般巍然屹立在讲台上。我们一个个丈二和尚摸不着头脑，紧接着语文老师拿出了一叠刚批好的试卷，从容不迫地发了下来：“同学们，先自己反思一下这张试卷中出现的问题。”我望向自己的试卷，只见一个鲜红的“80”映入眼帘，还配合着一个个如催命符般的叉叉，我的心情低落到了谷底。窗外天空中又聚了几片乌云，雨如倾盆般哗哗落了下来，桂花树上的叶子又被呼号的狂风卷下了许多。这时，下课铃响了。
chinese teacher was taking textbook to walk out of a classroom, classmates of in threes and fours gather together, discuss oneself result. and i fill in examination paper at random however into desk hole, oneself are immersed oneself in pretend to seek a thing, people of for fear that asks about my achievement. my classmate discovers i am a little peculiar it seems that, walked over then, my gangmaster is buried lowlier. at this moment, i heard a word that allows me to be benefited all one's life: “ nevers mind, you should believe yourself, want hard only, your target can come true eventually! ”
语文老师拿着课本走出了教室，同学们三五成群的聚集在一起，讨论自己的成绩。而我却将试卷胡乱地塞进桌洞，自己埋头装作找东西，生怕别人问起我的成绩。我的一个同学似乎发现我有些异样，于是走了过来，我把头埋得更低了。这时，我听到了让我受益终生的一句话：“不要紧的，你要相信你自己，只要努力，你的目标终会实现！”
his word is like a bundle of light, enlightened immediately the darkness in my heart, i regard my maxim as this word, always remind oneself: hold to hard, be full of self-confidence, never abandon.
他的话好像一束光，顿时照亮了我心中的黑暗，我把这句话作为我的座右铭，时刻提醒自己：坚持努力，充满自信，永不放弃。
author: wang xi
作者：王曦
the adviser comments on:
导师点评：
the author told about him to once took an examination of the chinese test that be bungled to us, from inside the classmate's encouragement oneself look for self-confident story afresh, and a lightning that the classmate's word resembles issueing wet, the instant enlightened oneself ongoing journey. the depict of before half part of the article is gotten very wonderful, no matter be the show that classmates attend in classroom, after still delivering next examination paper, oneself psychological depict reachs an environment to foil, very dramatic image, made bedding for later development, attracting us read interest. but in second half part, when undertaking the theme is highlighted, get through hastily however, end hurriedly, unavoidable make a person regretful. such content is arranged, cannot dash forward the clou that shows a literary works, make of ahead wonderful also fu zhidong flows.
作者给我们讲述了自己曾经考砸的一次语文测试，从同学的鼓励中自己重新找回自信的故事，而同学的话就像下雨天的一道闪电，瞬间照亮了自己前进的路。文章的前半部分描写得非常精彩，无论是同学们在课堂上的表现，还是发下试卷以后自己的心理描写及环境衬托，都非常生动形象，为下文做了铺垫，吸引着我们的阅读兴趣。但是在后半部分，进行主题突出的时候，却草草了事，匆匆结束，不免让人惋惜。这样的内容安排，不能突显出文章的中心思想，使前方的精彩也付之东流。